When is a time you've placed blame instead of taking ownership?
Taking ownership was a hard pill to swallow but it allows you permission to heal.
Blame is painful, it’s dis-empowering. It means life is happening to you. The narrative becomes one in which you have no way in what happens to you or how you handle it. That doesn't feel good! You may be violated, a victim. Wouldn't you rather be a woman in control of her destiny?
Happy people continually evaluate and improve themselves. Unhappy people continually evaluate others.
Cool! Let's do it....
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STEP 1: Observe the situation from an outside perspective
Journal about it in third person.
What were warning signs you missed?
When did you not listen to your gut?
Poke holes in your own story.
Where could you have change course of action?
Where could you have taken action at all?
Knowing what you know now what would you have done differently?
It’s hard to read the label from the inside of the jar.
STEP 2: Extract something positive
Girl, I know...it's hard, but you've got to! Maybe you became a stronger person for living through your experience. Maybe you met someone new from the experience. Maybe you made beautiful children! Either way, dig deep, first at least one silver lining. Being grateful for your soul.
STEP 3: Forgive
Maybe it's not the other person that you need to forgive. Maybe you need to forgive yourself. You can’t go back but you must move forward.
You must move on because life is happening whether you are standing still in victim-hood or not so you might as well process the shit and become a stronger person for having lived through it.
You have permission to live an abundant life, but that takes ownership.