THIS is the one thought that has power to turn around your entire holiday.
"You are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings + actions."
If you tell yourself stories like, "I DRINK because my mother-in-law drives me nuts," that’s not a true statement.
You drink because you’ve decided to give your mother-in-laws words + actions power over you.
You’ve decided that someone else is responsible for your behavior.
You have decided that you are at the mercy of your mother-in-law + the worst part is, she might not even know that’s the case.
Example, she says something you don’t like, you respond by pouring yourself a big ole glass of red wine because you are pissed. You live in a world where, “She should just know that would bother you”.
So why would you even say anything to her?
You shouldn’t have to, right?
Well that’s bullshit.
Because now you are drinking + blaming it on her when the cold hard facts are this... we teach people how to treat us.
If your mother-in-law has a way of “making you feel like a piece of shit”, you MUST remember that you are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings + actions.
What would need to change in order for this situation to change?
IDEA: You tell her your thoughts but it can’t be loaded with emotion. Work to express yourself in a neutral tone. Factually speaking.
IDEA: Talk to your spouse about this BEFORE you go to your mother-in-laws. Create a plan. Maybe a safe word or a leg squeeze that means we need to bounce.
IDEA: Don’t go.
IDEA: Decide that she can act a fucking fool all she wants + that’s got nothing to do with you.
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